


I have to go (this time i know)

by wafflesofdoom



Category: Hit the Floor (TV)
Genre: Closure, M/M, Moving On, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-29
Updated: 2018-07-29
Packaged: 2019-06-18 08:41:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15481953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wafflesofdoom/pseuds/wafflesofdoom
Summary: jude comes face to face with the man who’d shattered his heart two years after their breakup. or, jude finally gets some closure on his relationship with zero.





	I have to go (this time i know)

Jude isn’t quite sure how she managed it, but Lionel had been the one to tell him that the Devils had been scheduled to play a charity game against the Boston Celtics. It would have been fine, really, playing a charity game against such a major East Coast team - Jude would have relished it, normally.

But not this time, not when the Celtics were Zero’s new team. He’d floated aimlessly for a month or so, after Zero had left Los Angeles (and Jude) behind, before he’d signed with the Celtics, a new agent behind the scenes and a new team for him to climb his way to the top of.

Jude hadn’t seen him, since he left. It had been over two years, since the breakup, since Zero had closed the ring box with a sad smile and told Jude he couldn’t commit to it, that he couldn’t commit to marriage, to forever after.

Two years since he’d shattered Jude’s heart into a million pieces, two years since he’d left Jude bitter, and lonely, and sad, close to not believing in love again. Jude - he’d always dreamed of love, he’d wanted to believe in it, but when you had a father who had never wanted to know you, and a mother who’d only ever seen the man who’d broken her heart when she looked at you, it was hard to believe in it.

Zero had made him believe in love. Jude, he really hadn’t known love before Zero, he hadn’t known what love really was. He’d had it all, with Zero - the man who loved him, the man he’d thought he could build a future with.

He’d lost all that, in the end. Jude had lost Zero.

Jude - Jude had wondered if he’d ever get over Zero, once upon a time. He’d really, seriously wondered if he could ever fill the hole in his heart Zero had left behind - but he had, in the end.

“Jude.”

Speaking of moving on.

Jude looked up to see Noah approaching him, hands in his pockets. He was dressed for the game, in a smart shirt and jacket, but Jude knew him well enough to know that his TV personality hadn’t quite been turned on yet, the soft, secretive smile on his face enough for Jude to know this was one of the rare moments his boyfriend was off-mic.

“Hi,” Jude gave him a grateful smile, pressing a gentle kiss to Noah’s lips. They’d been sleeping together for close to eight months, now, officially dating for six, and Jude was happy - happy in ways he didn’t think he’d get to have, after Zero.

“How are you feeling about today?” Noah inquired, tugging Jude to the side so people could walk past them, pushing the two of them into a bubble of their own, Jude’s focus on the man who’d mended his broken heart, all with a bright smile and a whole host of terrible jokes.

Jude wasn’t sure what he’d done, to to deserve Noah - to deserve someone who was willing to go as slow as they had at the start, taking tiny baby steps forward, Noah always willing to let Jude process all the heartbreak and baggage Zero had left him with, giving Jude every second of time he needed to heal, and be ready for each and every next step with Noah.

It had been so, so good. Slow had been exactly what Jude needed, the romantic side of their relationship near glacial at the beginning, but settled, now, a new key on Jude’s keyring and the three nights a week he’d always spend at Noah’s his new, and very welcome normal.

“Nervous,” Jude admitted, glancing over his shoulder. “I’ve moved on, Noah, and I’m so happy with you.”

“But?” Noah prodded, always knowing.

“He’s always had such a hold over me,” Jude said, chewing nervously on the corner of his lip, hating the idea that admitting it, telling Noah this, might hurt the man he was falling in love with. “I don’t know how I’ll react, to seeing him again.”

“I think it could be a good thing,” Noah gave a slight shrug. “You didn’t get closure, two years ago. Maybe - maybe today can be your closure, Jude. I want all of you.”

“You have all of me,” Jude shook his head.

“I don’t think I do,” Noah didn’t look all that mad, if Jude was being honest. “And thats okay, I get it, I do. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want you to get closure, and move on - with me.”

“I have,” Jude leaned in, kissing him long, and slow. “You’re the one I want, Noah.”

Noah grinned. “You made that clear this morning, Mr Kinkade,” he said smoothly. “I better go, before Lionel has my head on a platter for being late.”

“Just tell her you had business with the owner of the Devils,” Jude grinned, enjoying the way Noah gave his hand a squeeze, dropping a kiss to the corner of his mouth as he left, heading for the ISN studio.

“He’s hot,” a familiar voice had Jude’s heart clenching in his chest. “You did good, Jude.”

“Zero,” the name felt too familiar as Jude spoke, forcing himself to turn around and come face to face with the man who’s broken his heart. Zero looked good, his hair was short again - spiked at the front, like it had been just before they’d broken up - wearing a neat navy suit.

“You haven’t hit me yet,” Zero tried to crack a joke. “I’m taking that as a win.”

Jude gave him a sad smile. “I don’t want to hit you, Gideon.”

“How have you been?” Zero asked, shifting nervously from foot to foot. “You own the team now. Congrats.”

“Thanks,” Jude nodded. “It’s been interesting, being owner.”

“I’ll bet,” Zero smiled softly. “Everything you’ve always wanted, Jude.”

Jude swallowed thickly. “Nearly everything,” he said quietly, thinking of the ring he’d had to have Lionel return to the store, unable to face handing back the ring that was supposed to symbolise forever.

Zero had a different idea of forever, in the end.

“I am sorry, Jude,” Zero said. “I never - I never meant to hurt you, the way I did. I just…..”

“You weren’t ready.” Jude repeated Zero’s own words back to him, reliving the breakup as they spoke. “I thought I would never get over you, you know.”

Zero looked ashamed, at least. “I’m sorry, Jude.“

“I was a mess,” Jude continued, shaking his head. “Even after you left, Gideon, you had complete control of me - you were everything I wanted, and you upped, and you left me. You said you’d never let me down, Gid - you said you’d always be there, and then you weren’t. I thought that was it, that I was never going to move on.”

“I -“

“But I did, you know,” Jude interrupted, unable to help the soft smile that appeared on his face as he thought of Noah, of the man who had made him believe in love again. “I did, and I have found someone who can be there for me, Gideon, in all the ways I need him to be.”

“In all the ways I wasn’t, right?”

Jude nodded. “I’m happy, Gideon.”

“I’m glad,” Zero gave him a sincere look, the kind of one that would have had Jude melting down into his shoes, once upon a time. But not today, not anymore.

Noah had been right - this had been the closure Jude hadn’t realised he needed.

“I need to go and make sure everything is set for the day,” Jude said, glancing at his watch. “Take care of yourself, Zero.”

Jude heart was thumping in his chest as he walked away. That - that had felt like a goodbye, like the ending Jude had needed to have, the ending he’d been craving for so long.

(The kind of ending that meant Jude didn’t even notice, when Zero had been slapped across the cheesy tabloids, a gorgeous red-head hanging off his arm, a blond the following week - because, well, Jude had been on page eight himself, a hand in Noah’s and plenty of speculation about the ring on Jude’s finger and rumours of a secret engagement for the owner of the Devils swirling.)


End file.
